The House of the Dead
-James Goss
Barry: Time please, time at the bar. So if you’d like to take your places and join Mrs Wintergreen by the fire.
Mrs. Wintergreen: Gather ‘round, everyone. The dead don’t like to be kept waiting.
Ianto: Jack. Gwen. Hurry up. It’s starting.
Mrs. Wintergreen: Closer, that’s it. If we could all join hands. That’s right. Now then. Tonight is the last night of the House of the Dead, the most haunted pub in Wales. And you’ve all come looking for someone you’ve lost. So, without any further adieu, I summon the dead. I summon the dead. Will you come to us tonight?
Ianto: Jack. Something’s happening.
Mrs. Wintergreen: Think of your loved ones, of whom you wish to see again. Feel their spirits reaching out, drawing closer. Come, gentle ghosts. Come, to the House of the Dead.
Barry: Gentle ghosts. Are you having a laugh?
WoMan: Did you see that chair?
Barry: Someone’ll have to pay for that!
Ianto: Jack. Where are you?
Mrs. Wintergreen: Peace, unquiet shade.
Barry: I booked you for a séance, Mrs. Wintergreen. Not to trash the place, love.
Mrs. Wintergreen: I’m sorry Barry, this has never happened before, but isn’t it amazing. Everyone, stay calm. The spirit mean us no harm.
Ianto: Jack. Gwen. Where are you? It’s getting out of control.
WoMan: Reginald, look. Incredible. No one is touching the glass, it’s moving by itself.
Man: What’s it saying?
Mrs. Wintergreen: It’s spelling a name. Spirit, tell us. Who is coming? J-A-C…
*tapping and electricity and gasps*
Barry: Everyone stay calm. The fuse must’ve blown.
Mrs. Wintergreen: Someone’s coming through. Look at the door. I see him coming. It’s a soldier.
Jack: Captain Jack Harkness. You’re all in terrible danger.
Barry: Can someone light the candles, please?
Mrs. Wintergreen: Captain Harkness, my name is Evadne Wintergreen. Do not be afraid, friendly spirit. You have come to us from the other side.
Jack: From Cardiff, actually.
Mrs. Wintergreen: I beg your pardon?
Jack: I’ve come to warn you.
Ianto: Jack! You’re late!
Jack: Ianto! Oh, good to see you.
Ianto: I’m sorry, Jack. I couldn’t stop it.
Barry: Hey! Wait. You’re saying you’re not a ghost?
Jack: Flesh and blood, I assure you. Now, listen to me –
Mrs. Wintergreen: How disappointing! I knew I felt a presence in this room.
-James Goss
Barry: Time please, time at the bar. So if you’d like to take your places and join Mrs Wintergreen by the fire.
Mrs. Wintergreen: Gather ‘round, everyone. The dead don’t like to be kept waiting.
Ianto: Jack. Gwen. Hurry up. It’s starting.
Mrs. Wintergreen: Closer, that’s it. If we could all join hands. That’s right. Now then. Tonight is the last night of the House of the Dead, the most haunted pub in Wales. And you’ve all come looking for someone you’ve lost. So, without any further adieu, I summon the dead. I summon the dead. Will you come to us tonight?
Ianto: Jack. Something’s happening.
Mrs. Wintergreen: Think of your loved ones, of whom you wish to see again. Feel their spirits reaching out, drawing closer. Come, gentle ghosts. Come, to the House of the Dead.
Barry: Gentle ghosts. Are you having a laugh?
WoMan: Did you see that chair?
Barry: Someone’ll have to pay for that!
Ianto: Jack. Where are you?
Mrs. Wintergreen: Peace, unquiet shade.
Barry: I booked you for a séance, Mrs. Wintergreen. Not to trash the place, love.
Mrs. Wintergreen: I’m sorry Barry, this has never happened before, but isn’t it amazing. Everyone, stay calm. The spirit mean us no harm.
Ianto: Jack. Gwen. Where are you? It’s getting out of control.
WoMan: Reginald, look. Incredible. No one is touching the glass, it’s moving by itself.
Man: What’s it saying?
Mrs. Wintergreen: It’s spelling a name. Spirit, tell us. Who is coming? J-A-C…
*tapping and electricity and gasps*
Barry: Everyone stay calm. The fuse must’ve blown.
Mrs. Wintergreen: Someone’s coming through. Look at the door. I see him coming. It’s a soldier.
Jack: Captain Jack Harkness. You’re all in terrible danger.
Barry: Can someone light the candles, please?
Mrs. Wintergreen: Captain Harkness, my name is Evadne Wintergreen. Do not be afraid, friendly spirit. You have come to us from the other side.
Jack: From Cardiff, actually.
Mrs. Wintergreen: I beg your pardon?
Jack: I’ve come to warn you.
Ianto: Jack! You’re late!
Jack: Ianto! Oh, good to see you.
Ianto: I’m sorry, Jack. I couldn’t stop it.
Barry: Hey! Wait. You’re saying you’re not a ghost?
Jack: Flesh and blood, I assure you. Now, listen to me –
Mrs. Wintergreen: How disappointing! I knew I felt a presence in this room.